Yes l know it is a horrible word and topic but one that is so common in today's society,it seems more and more people are affected by it.
Our family has this year not so long ago a young girl who was in my son's class through school, 16 yrs old is just too young.
The school community and more namely her friends had no idea of her thoughts not a hint was given, she went to school, like normal, she went to work, like normal, she went to a party after work, said "see ya" to her mates just like she normally would.
Went home, in one door and out the other.........
Below is an open letter l have come across online, l have no idea who the original writer of this letter is but l would like to thank them for it, for although it has made me cry while reading it l think it is a very useful tool for everyone to use because it effects more people than you think.
Please feel free to forward it to anyone who you feel may be able to use it.
Thinking of suicide..?
You’re sitting in your room, door locked, with a pen in your hand and a
blank piece of paper in front of you. Your hand is shaking, and the
tears begin again - for the third time in the past hour. ‘To my family’
you write at the top of the page, but decide it’s a bad way to begin
your letter, your suicide letter. You try again, start over, again and
again, but you don’t know
where to begin. No one understands
you; no one knows what you’re going through, you’re alone or at least
that’s what you think. Nobody would care if you’re alive or not, you
mean nothing to nobody.
It’s night, and you slip into bed.
’Goodbye’ you whisper into the darkness. And with that, you take your
last breathe and end it all.
No body cares, right? Well you
thought wrong. It’s a Tuesday the following morning, and when it’s 7:21,
your mother comes and knocks on your door. She doesn’t know you can’t
hear her she doesn’t know you’re gone. She knocks a few more times,
calling your name to open up. When there is no reply from your side of
the door, she opens it and screams. She collapses on the ground while
your dad rushes to your room. Your siblings have already left for
school. Your very weak mother collects all the energy she’s got which is
close to nothing to walk over to your bed. She leans over your dead
body, crying, squeezing your hand, screaming. Your dad is trying to stay
strong, but the tears escape his eyes; calling 000 or 911 with his left
hand while his other one is on your mother’s back. Your mother blames
herself. All those times she had said ‘no’ to you, all those times she
had screamed at you, and sent you to your room over something stupid.
Your father will blame himself for not being there for you when you
asked for help, for being away from home at work for long. Nobody cares,
right?
8:34. There’s a knock on your classroom door it’s the
school principle. She looks more worried than ever. She calls the
teacher to the side; all the students worried: what’s going on? The
principle then later announces about your suicide. The popular girl that
always called you fat and ugly is now blaming herself. The kid that
would always copy your homework but treat you like crap ~ he’s blaming
himself. The boy that sits behind you ~ the one that always threw things
at you during class ~ he’s blaming himself too. The teacher is blaming
herself - for all those times she’d scream at you for forgetting your
homework, or not listening in class. People are crying, screaming,
shocked, in regret of what they did. They’ll all be devastated - even
the kids you’ve never talked to before. Still nobody cares about you,
right?
Your siblings get home. Your mother has to tell them
that you’re gone; forever. Your little sister ~ no matter how many times
she’s screamed at you, told you she hated you and stole your stuff ~
always loved you, and saw you as her hero; her role model. She now
starts to blame herself; why didn’t I do what she told me to do when she
told me to? Why did I take her stuff even when she asked me not to?
This is all my fault. Your brother gets home ~ the boy that never cries.
He’s now in his room; mad at himself ~ he caused your death. All those
times he’d played pranks on you. He’s punching holes in his wall,
turning over things; he doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that
you’re gone. Forever. Nobody cares about you, right? Right?
It
has been over a month. The door to your room has been closed all this
time. Everything is different now. Your brother has to be sent to anger
management classes, your little sister cries everyday still waiting for
you to come back. Everyday she waits for you to come back home. The
popular girls have now turned anorexic. They don’t know how to deal with
the pain that they’re feeling. Your father has depression; your mother
hasn’t slept for nights it’s all her fault. She’s been crying and
screaming every night wishing for you to come back. The boy who would
always bother you dropped out of school. The boy that copied your
homework now cuts. But nobody cares about you, aren’t I right?
Your mother finally decides to go clean out your room. But she can’t do
it. She’s locked herself in your room for two days to try to clean up
your clothes, your things. But she can’t she can’t say goodbye to you,
not yet, not now. Never.
It’s your funeral. It’s a big one ~
everybody comes. No one knows what to say. The beautiful girl with the
big smile is gone; you’re somewhere else. No one knows what to say,
they’re all still shocked. Everyone cries, everyone misses you. They all
wish you’d come back but you don’t, and you won’t.
Still think
nobody cares about you? Think again. Even if people don’t show it, they
care about you, they love you. If you kill yourself today or any other
day you won’t know just how much you meant to people. If you kill
yourself today, it stops your pain, but it pains all the ones who know
you for the rest of their life. Suicide is the easy way out - but it’s
the wrong choice. Life is beautiful. Yes, it does have its ups and downs
everyone has their bad days. Sometimes people go through tough times in
their lives like you’re probably going through now but bad times come
and go. You might not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s
there. No matter how hard life gets, never give up on yourself, or on
your life.
Take a minute now, and think. If you killed yourself
~ how would the people that love you feel/go through? Can’t think of
anything? Well I’ll tell you: tears, tears, and more tears. Devastation.
Guilt. Pain. Broken. Regret. Miserable.
If after reading this
you still feel suicidal, there are people that can help you. I’m here
for you whenever you need me, and I’ll be more than happy to listen to
you and try to help you feel better. There are teachers, parents,
grandparents, neighbors, adults, councilors ~ they’re all there for you
whenever you need them.
